Netlore Archive: Circulating online, a 'presidential platform' attributed to 'write-in candidate' Bill Cosby. He had nothing to do with it.
Description: Email joke / Hoax
Circulating since: July 2008 (this version)
Status: Falsely attributed to Bill Cosby
Email example contributed by Carri W., Aug. 11, 2008:
Bill Cosby for President (is this true)
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Walmart' policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.
God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby
Comments: Falsely attributed. Celebrated African-American entertainer Bill Cosby has been known to speak forthrightly on a range of touchy social and political issues, including race relations in America and the need, as he sees it, for black people to concentrate on bettering themselves rather than blaming their problems on others. But Bill Cosby did not write the above piece, which focuses on matters he doesn't typically address, and surely misrepresents his views.
Morevover, Mr. Cosby has expressed neither the interest nor the intent to run for president in 2008.
The true author of the text -- which began circulating online in June 2008 (example #1, example #2) but wasn't attributed to Bill Cosby until July -- remains unknown.
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Last updated: 09/02/08
